Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

From: “Girish Chandra Mitra”
To: am-global@earthlink.net
Subject: We Must Save These Drowning People
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 2009 07:57:48 +0530


“Ek nu’taner sur a’ji ba’jalo phule phuledola’ diye…” PS 127


By Baba’s grace, the melody of the new era is played today…Today in the
path of forward movement, no obstacle stands in our way. Our full-throated
songs are all sung in one tune. Forgetting all our differences, merging
together and laughing, let us march ahead today. Let us move together
with all…


Everyone is part of our human family, irrespective of their behaviour
and actions.

Certainly we are closer to our brothers and sisters in the Marga, as by
His grace we have come together to respond to His call. Naturally there
is a greater affinity amongst Ananda Margiis.

So it is very painful to see a few workers stray from the path and steer
away from their allotted duties and dharma.

Before detailing the below, it should be made clear that the vast
majority of workers are tried and true. Our acarya cadre is a noble one,
filled with dedicated persons who have great zeal for AM ideology.

Thus the cases pointed out below represent a mere few, and by Baba’s
grace we will help them to regain their footing so they can once again
become great agents of dharma and assets to our AM society. That is the
sole point of this letter.


The unique force we call mahamaya, or simply maya, never likes to lose
any of her subjects to the path of liberation. Thus again and again she
tries to ensnare those reaching towards mukti. Invariably, on certain
occasions, she is successful.

Such is what has happened to a few of our workers. They came with pure
intentions, and with the desire to do good, but due to circumstances and
by their vanity and indulgences, they succumbed to maya in a most
disastrous manner.

Tragically, when one is in the grip of maya, they cannot see the light
nor breathe fresh air. They are just bound in her web. So although each
and every worker has come for a very pious purpose, they can get stuck
in “less-than-stellar” activities.

The day their eyes open, they will be shocked by what has transpired –
by the hell they have been involved in. Sometimes though, their slumber
does not end during this lifetime – that is another tragedy.

So it is with heartfelt pain that I share the following. We must
remember that it is our responsibility to bring all to the proper path,
new people as well as those who have strayed (temporarily).

Even though maya may be strong, we must do our best to awaken one and all.


In so many avadhuta meetings, Baba would remind all workers that worldly
gratification is short-lived and not for Wts.

Baba would say: ‘You are my workers and you have come for a very
specific purpose – to wipe away the tears of suffering humanity and
spread the gospel of neohumanism. You are not ordinary, rather you are
extraordinary. You are the exception. You have not come to this world
for earthly enjoyments.’

This was the way Baba would speak in various worker and avadhuta meetings.

Still today, by His grace, Baba is holding the hand of each and every
worker. Those blinded by maya let go due to their vanity and lust. Even
then Baba is calling them back to the proper path.

We should examine these below cases, do the best we can to rectify them
and alert others lest more get bound by maya.


It is a tell-tale sign when any Dada or Didi gets involved in very close
and intimate communication with one another, especially when that
communication is very regular. This first case is like that.

Dada Mahitosa’nanda and Didi Ananda Suvrata’ were involved in talking to
and texting one another quite regularly via SMS (a message from her
mobile). Such inner communications were going back and forth between
Dada and Didi.

Then one drama happened.

Some other Dadas got those very text messages into their own in-box, and
forwarded those secret communications to many, many Wts. Thus all came
to find out about the inner dealings of Dada Mahitosa’nanda and Didi
Ananda Suvrata’.

By the nature of the messages, it was quite clear that this Dada and
Didi were involved in an illicit affair. One need not be a detective to
understand that this was what was going on. So for a while, everyone was
gossiping about these two Wts.

And when Didi Ananda Suvrata’ arrived in Pundag station for a recent RDS
etc, then Dada Mahitosa’nanda drove one jeep and received her at the station. All
took this to be proof of their status together.

How far their relationship is down and dirty, that is for Dada and Didi
to admit. That is not for others to say. But by the nature of the texts,
all workers were abuzz with the goopy details of this affair.

What happened has happened and now is the time for repair. Many say that
Dada Mahitosa’nanda and Didi Ananda Suvrata’ have shame for what they
have done in which case we must help revive them. If they are shameless,
then our hands are tied and there is little we can do. In that case,
only Baba can save them.

For various reasons, some are calling this a case of five-star negativity.


During seminars, DMS, or camps, Daya’shekhara’nanda always manages a
special van or train reservation with Allahabad RSL. They are like two
peas in a pod.

Plus whenevere Dadaji has to attend any function in the region travels
together with RSL together. It is not at all uncommon for Dada to hire a
special van and travel with her.

Needless to say this is most abnormal behaviour for a worker in our
Marga. In India, many Wts travel by 3rd class rail, not a hired car or
van. And it is well know that a single Dada and Didi are not to travel
together like this. It is unusual.

That is why many margiis have taken notice of this and have been talking
about it. During that past RDS, many workers were also discussing the

The main problem is that when one makes special plans like this it often
gives way to other things, and certainly indicates a type of mental


This next case involves Dada Mohansundarananda and Didi Ananda
Jyotisvarupa. Many treat this duo as boyfriend and girlfriend. You can
decide for yourself or, better yet, inquire with them as to what exactly
is going on.

However, it cannot be denied that these two have been “involved” with
one another for years and years. They are quite close and interlinked.

Their bond is so tight that when they find themselves separated by too
many kilometers then they cry out for one another.

Actually, their relationship is so old and so well known, people do not
even talk about it anymore. And often other acaryas will just mention
either Dada Mohansundarananda or Didi Ananda Jyotisvarupa in order to
refer to the both of them.

So their link is quite close. Ask them about it for more details, often
they are quite happy to talk about it.


In and of themselves, these cases are sad to see.

The mass of our Wts are sterling examples of dharma who live each day
holding onto a high ideal. And veritably, the aforementioned Wts also
came into the Marga with their sights set high.

So it is unfortunate and unnerving to hear and see such actions. We
always want our Marga to be something special, better than other
organisations etc.

Thus when any worker falls it is not just an individual affair but a
matter of collective concern.


One thing to clarify is that there is a heaven and hell difference
between married life and an illicit affair.

In married life, there is a sense of responsibility, duty, honesty,
obligation and more. Married people are not enamoured with sex but have
a pointed ideal in life: To manage their familial and social lives and
reach their spiritual destination and inspire their family members to do
the same, all the while working for their safety and welfare.

In a phrase, at the very least, married persons are bound by the rules
of society.

In contrast, those involved in illicit affairs are sunken in sexual
lust. This applies to one having an extra-marital affair as well as to
depraved priests and missionaires, including a few of our Dadas etc.

There is no sense of commitment, dedication or integrity. It is just
indulgence, and often deceit, dishonesty, and hypocrisy as well. There
are no redeeming factors.

All Wts should be highly encourage to live up to their ideal. If any has
fallen, then seek help, call out to Baba, and follow 16 Pts. That is the
way to go.

But if really one’s mind is totally engaged with their significant
other, then that worker should give up their dress and get married.
Hovering between the two is not the way. Accepting the responsibilities
is far better than being a half-baked acarya.

Best of all is to rectify oneself fully and resume one’s duty as an
acarya of the Marga with full integrity and commitment.


Baba has detailed that the path of AM is the path of exceptions, that
includes the vast majority or even all of our workers.

To keep our Wts on the right path, Baba is adamant that there should be
no intermingling. Baba used to tell the Dadas that if the Didi’s jagrti
was burning, then let it burn, do not go and help, instead quickly tell
the margiis to come to the rescue.

The point being, no worker should get caught up in helping or developing
sentimental links across gender lines. Doing so is only to invite problem.

Unfortunately, today there are a few Dadas who spend all their time
“serving” the Didis. Such Wts spend all their time during RDS checking
in on the Didi’s camp. It is not at all good.

We must recall that Buddhism was banished from India due to the crude
mixing of their monks and nuns. The same dark fate should not meet our

Instead we should encourage all to live the life of a sadhu, and become
an exception. That is the destiny of our wholetimers. And already most
are doing like this.

Baba says, “Most people spend their lives on this planet eating and
drinking. Sometimes they contract diseases, their stomachs become
distended, and they die. But there are certain exceptional people who
say, ‘No, we have not come to eat, drink and make merry.’ Those who lead
licentious lives foolishly get involved in brawls and fights, but the
exceptional people say, ‘No, we don’t want to live such a life.’
Missionary life was started on this planet by such people who today are
glorifying that tradition in ever increasing numbers. They alone will
make this line of exceptions even more brilliant, and will build human
history.” (AV-8)


By Baba’s grace our entire acarya cadre will again glitter and shine.
Those who have fallen should get rectified. Their should be no psyhic
longing for the opposite sex, let alone physical indulgence.
Unfortunately, right now there seems to be a little bit of both in our
Marga. Today that must stop and by Baba’s grace we must become exceptional.

Baba says, “Those people who are society‚Äôs exceptions are extraordinary
people. Keeping our ideology fixed before our eyes, we must also become
exceptional people. For those people who are treading a new path, who
are constructing something new, exception is as valuable as their very
lives.” (AV-8)


Only Remedy

Baba says, “It is the duty of all human beings and especially those who are
devotees, it is their mandatory duty to always think that, ‘I am a machine
and the controller is Parama Purusa. He is the machine man and I have to
work according to His desire. I have to fulfill His desire. This body of
mine is a machine and it belongs to Him. This is His machine and this
machine has to do His work.’ If one constantly thinks in this way then the
vanity of action will never sprout. This is the only path to save oneself
from vanity. One has to think ‘I am just one machine; I am a tool and
according to His desire I have to work’.”

(SS-16 (H), p. 81, DMC Agra 19 Feb 84)


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Date: Tue, 15 Sep 2009 07:27:06
To: am-global@earthlink.net
Subject: Gay Marriage: Stand of A’nanda Ma’rga
From: Jiivendra


“Ja’du nagariiya’ se a’ya’ hya’y ek ja’dugar…” (PS 4062)


The Parama Purusa, the Divine Musician from the magical world of music has come. Look all around. Now everything is dancing in His love. Everyone’s heart is filled with His love. The whole universe is dancing, the waves of the ocean are dancing, the black bee is also dancing on the flowers.

Everyone is intoxicated with His love– knowingly or unknowingly they are dancing in His flow. Oh the Parama Purusa divine Musician, what have You done. The hearts which were sleeping in frustration, they have bloomed again. They have gotten new life. The spirituality which was lost, You brought it back. The resonance of the Cosmic vibration is audible everywhere. The music is filled inside and out. Oh Parama Purusa You have filled this entire universe with Your love…
Each and every day in the courts, in congress, in coffee shops, in
bookstores, and in the town hall, heated debates are going on about
gay-lesbian or same sex marriages. All are getting involved: Politicians,
“progressives”, church officials, professionals, students, and of course
gays and lesbians. Some say “YES”, some say “NO”, and some say “I DON’T
KNOW”. All together this issue of gay marriage is a pervasive topic in the
society, especially in our western, materialistic countries.
As A’nanda Ma’rgiis, it is important for us to know our AM / Proutistic
stand on each and every social issue. Because by this way we will be able
to implement Baba’s divine ideals and solve society’s problems at large.
So when in certain parts of the globe the issue of Gay-Lesbian marriage has become such a burning topic, we should investigate the matter and pointedly understand and formulate our ideological stand– based on Baba’s teachings, of course.

That way, now and in the future, we can help the society move ahead in the proper direction. Plus it will allow us in AMPS to hold a unified stance on the issue.

So gaining clarity about Baba’s position about gay-lesbian marriages holds numerous benefits.

As we explore this topic of gay marriage– i.e. marriage between a man and a man, or between a woman and a woman– we should first take a look at some of the foundational points of materialistic life. Because this will give us insight into why in the west the issue of same sex marriages has gained so much momentum and come to the fore.

And we should also recognise that off-shoots of this are beginning to
sprout in China, India, and other countries– as materialism spreads more and more. So this topic of gay marriage is multiplying and fast becoming a global issue. This we are all going to see– and are seeing.

So we should know our AM stand on this important issue. Because as things like gay and lesbian marriages spread in the society then they all tend to creep into AM. And this we are seeing at this very moment. So in numerous ways, and in various angles, this issue of gay marriage is going to affect and touch us all.

That is why we can say it is a burning issue and demands our utmost care
and attention so we can give a reasonable and rational solution- thereby
helping one and all.

Before writing anything further let it be known that no person in our human family is bad or depraved, per se. In AM, we do not believe that criminals are inherently bad nor do we believe that people are “bad” based on their sexual orientation. So our approach is not about labeling people, but rather about seeing the divine within all. That is why we focus on recognising those life practices which Baba espouses: So that our human potential can be realised and the best human society can be built. That is the chief aim of this entire discussion.
As we delve into the matter of gay marriages, we should take a look at the
fertile ground in which it has taken root by examining the way of life in
our materialistic countries.

While in AM our approach to life is basically spiritual, in stark contrast,
in the crude, capitalistic society, sex has become the way of life. That is
the overriding emphasis in life and society: Sexual appeal, sexual
relations, sexual looks, and sexual dealings. People rake in huge profits
off of sex and people’s self-image is based primarily on sexual allurement, especially women. Because the misguided idea reigns that the ultimate satisfaction in life is achieved by sex– not through any other way. In the materialistic approach, they do not believe there is anything higher than sex.

So sex is one of the main forces in materialistic life. This is evidenced
by nearly every image in the society: On the billboards, on the TV, in the
movies, in social relations, and in all the ways crude sex has taken hold
of every aspect of life. Such are the degraded and lowly ways of
materialistic life.

Hence although human desires are infinite, due to a lack of spirituality,
in the materialistic societies they try to satisfy their human longing
through sex.

So when sex holds such a high place in the society, in that case, in this
materialistic era, especially in our western countries, the institution of
marriage is grounded in the idea of being a legalised sexual union between two people. For years and years this has meant a legalised sexual union between a man and a woman, i.e. a heterosexual marriage.

Here the critical point is that in materialism, the basis or the foundation
of the marriage system is sex. Marriage allows for two persons to carry out sexual relations in an “upstanding way” in the society. And whatever else they wish to do in their married life is entirely up to them. No greater responsibility is involved.

Marriage then becomes nothing but a ticket for becoming accepted sexual partners in the society. That is the way it works in the materialistic west. Because sexual satisfaction is the aim of such marriage, not raising children nor building a strong society. These outcomes, such as children,are nothing but the by-product of sexual oriented marriages. Children are not the main thing in materialistic marriages. But in AM, raising healthy, idealistic children is the aim of our marriage system. That is the vast difference between our AM and the materialistic nations.

So in certain western countries where marriage is just an avenue for sexual deeds, step by step, gays and lesbians are forming the opinion then that they should also be allowed to marry and be looked upon as upstanding citizens in the society.

Because the gay and lesbian communities argue that when marriage in the general society itself means a legalised sexual union between two people, then why should there be discrimination about whom those two people are.

Why not extend those rights of a sexually based marriage to everyone. Why not allow a gay marriage between a man and a man, or lesbian marriage between a woman and a woman. Let these types of same sex couples also partake in this marriage system, since sex is the main prerequisite. Why should there be discrimination that only a male and a female can marry. This is the main logic that gays and lesbians put forth about why they should be allowed to marry.

Because when the whole materialistic society is based on sexual involvement and when those male-female marriages are based solely on sex, then naturally gays and lesbians feel that they should also be allowed to marry.

Because they see that when sex is the chief ingredient in forming a marriage, then gays and lesbians feel that they are worthy candidates for marriage– since they satisfy that prerequisite of sexual relations.

Indeed gays and lesbians have gotten so much momentum in this regard that so-called progressive citizens in these materialistic countries have also adopted this stance. Because they also know that marriage in the materialistic countries is a sexual engagement. In that case such heterosexual progressives wrongly reason that if a man and woman have the legal right to hold sexual relations, then gays and lesbians should also have this same sexual freedom and social right. So they also say that marriage should be offered to gay and lesbian couple also. After all, why should we discriminate against anyone. This is their so-called open-minded view of things. This is their “progressive” outlook. All because in the materialistic societies they see sex as being the basis of marriage. But of course in AM we know that marriage has a higher purpose and sex is for procreation– for producing children– not for rampantly satisfying one’s carnal pleasures.

Of course the church and political conservatives have their own narrow-minded reasons for holding an oppositional stance. So this battle is going on between them and those pro-gay marriage activists.

But, all in all, it can be seen that, the tide in society is moving towards the stance of legalising gay and lesbian marriages. Because when marriage in materialistic societies is only based on the sex, then the point comes that therefore anyone doing any type of sex should be allowed to marry.

This is the faulty conclusion that results– all because marriage in the west is based on the idea that sexual relations are everything. There is no higher idea in mind.

Whereas in AM we know that marriage is a beautiful avenue for building a healthy society and sexual relations are used just as a means to bring children into the world.

Even then as this debate about gay marriage spills over into our AM discussions at our retreats etc, then some simple margiis have also formed their own opinions.

They reason that since Baba has granted equal rights to all and since He has proclaimed that there should not be any differentiation in the society, then in that case what moral right do we have but to extend the institution of marriage to gays and lesbians. This is the way some naive margiis view the situation.

Because when the common public is involved in sexual romance marriages, then a few margiis also get confused. And not only do they support gay marriage in the greater society but they approve of it in AM as well. That is why today in Berlin and Suva sectors, gay marriages are going on in the open. Margii sisters are marrying other sisters. And many confused margiis lend their support. Silently or openly they are accepting these gay marriages in AM.

But by this way those confused margiis forget that in AM the institution of marriage is not based on sex. And they fail to realise what Baba means by equal rights and no discrimination. That is why they misapply Baba’s teachings by accepting gay marriages.

So all in all, in various regards, there is mounting confusion over this entire issue of gay marriage– both inside and outside our Marga.

But if we take a more careful, holistic look at Baba’s teachings then the matter becomes crystal clear.

As we know, in AM, life means movement along the divine path– the path of bliss. Our unique philosophy stands on this blessed sutra:
A’tmamoks’a’rtham’ jagaddhita’ya ca
So in our Marga and in our social framework, each and every aspect of life revolves around this special ideal. How we eat, how we sing, how we work, how we pass our days etc. Each and every action is infused with this spirit self-realisation and service to humanity, including our approach to marriage and family life.

Because our AM way of life moves ahead on this grand mission of spiritual attainment and social welfare.

Thus when sex itself is not the basis of all our social interactions, then
naturally the institution of marriage takes on a whole new flavour. Because in AM marriage is not a mere passage way for sexual relations. Rather marriage is a dignified institution for building a strong and healthy society. Marriage is the pathway for raising children in healthy
environment with a stable home that includes both a father and a mother. This is Baba’s guideline (Reference NSS, Disc 4, 7, 8, 9).

Because in AM, the marriages are for supporting one another in a spiritual way so that when it is time to procreate then the husband and the wife will be able to raise their children in a sentient and spiritual way. Thus marriage is the building block for generating a strong, well-knit human family.

So spirituality is the basis of our AM marriages and the purpose of such
union is for society building– not sex for the sake of sex.
For all these reasons in our AM, we cannot support gay and lesbian
marriages. Because those marriages are based only on sex– they have no
redeeming social value; they are not for society building.

Once again the whole problem about gay marriages stems from the fact that marriage in western materialistic countries is based on sex.

But when we reflect on this point more deeply and realise the true aim and value of marriage in AM– that it is for society building– then there is
no scope for there to be gay and lesbian marriage, neither inside the Marga nor out.

Rather with tender heart and understanding way we should work with gay and lesbian people to engage more deeply in a spiritual approach and side by side we should experiment with the best counseling techniques to give support to those in the homosexual community so they might develop and grow in a healthy way.

Here is Baba’s blessing that ensures that marriage be a stable and bonafide institution for building a healthy human society.

Baba says, “The Sanskrit equivalent for marriage is viva’ha (vi – vah +
ghain): it means, after the ceremony, the man and woman can no longer live as libertines or as irresponsible so-called family people. They have to discharge their full obligations as bhartta’ and kalatra, responsible
husband and responsible wife.” (NSS: Disc 9)


Although the Christian church does not support gay and lesbian marriages, we cannot say that the church is in line with the ideals of Ananda Marga. Because since long the church has adopted the view that females are mere objects of enjoyment for men. Often the church has demoralised the stance of women. In that case we cannot at all proclaims that their dogmatic view is consistent with the AM dharma. This is a whole other chapter of discussion, but in a nutshell this is what it all boils down to.
Need of the Day
Baba says, “The newly awakened humanity of today is anxious to herald the advent of one universal society under the vast blue sky. The noble and righteous persons of all countries, bound by fraternal ties, are eager to assert in one voice, with one mind, and in the same tune that human society is one and indivisible.” (AFPS, pt 2 p.25)

Note: Nowadays in our Marga society, a few are forgetting this truth. They should understand that this is not in the favour of dharma. Rather the call of dharma is to form one human society.


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